i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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