what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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