I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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