He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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