erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
smell my finger.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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