This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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