Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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