i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
