Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
