I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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