Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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