I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
