Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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