Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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