Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
