well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
