I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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