In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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