she was so not down for the gang bang
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
