just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
