Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
