well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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