She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
