just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
