i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
