real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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