i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
