You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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