that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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