you win again, gameday.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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