I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
