"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
