oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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