Cold hands, warm shart.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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