i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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