I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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