shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
