We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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