Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
