it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
