Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
