Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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