its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
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