Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
