The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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