i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
