We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
