every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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