I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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