I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
