he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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