I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
