i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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