i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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